59 Astronaut Jokes That Are Out Of This World

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We're firm believers that a good joke should send you into orbit.

So, we're comet-ing at you with a star selection of 59 astronaut jokes that are guaranteed to rock your world. Better buckle in and prepare for blast off!

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Be careful not to space out now, or these funny puns might go right over your head.

1.Are you an astronaut, because you’re out of this world.

2.I have two best friends. One is an astronaut but I like the other one better as he’s more down to earth.

3.I had a girlfriend who was an astronaut but she ended the relationship. She said she needed space.

4.I got my astronaut friend a huge rocket for bonfire night. I knew he’d be over the moon with it.

5.I knew an astronaut who was in a race to see who could get to the moon the fastest. He lost the race so they gave him a constellation prize.

6.I've just read about the first cow astronaut. It's landed on the mooooooon.

7.An astronaut told me there are some crazy bugs on the moon. They are called luna-ticks.

8.I’ve never liked astronauts, they think they’re above me.

9.I was trying to have a serious conversation with an astronaut but she didn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation.

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We know astronauts like things that are light years ahead of their time, but what are their star choices?

10.What is an astronaut’s favourite day? Moon-day.

11.What is an astronaut’s favourite thing to read? Comet books.

12.What is an astronaut’s favourite music app? Neptunes.

13.What are astronauts favourite types of chocolate? Mars bars and Milky Ways.

14.What is an astronaut’s favourite animal? Snail-ens.

15.What is an astronaut’s drink? Gravi-tea.

16.What is an astronaut’s favourite time to eat? Launch time.

17.What is an astronaut's favourite key on the keyboard? The space bar.

18.What is an astronaut's favourite food? Rocket chips.

19.What is an astronaut's favourite dance? The moonwalk.

20.What is an astronaut’s favourite magazine? Cosmo.

21.What is an astronaut’s favourite coffee shop? Starbucks.

22.What's an astronaut's favourite board game? Moon-opoly.

23.What's an astronaut's favourite place to have fun? Cape Carnival.

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Fuel is important to astronauts in outer space.  They can't survive on thin air.

24.Why wasn’t the astronaut hungry? She’d had a big launch.

25.Why don’t astronauts enjoying eating in the restaurants on the moon? They have no atmosphere.

26.What kind of plates do astronauts use? Flying saucers.

27.Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches? In launch boxes.

28.How do astronauts eat their ice creams? In floats.

29.Why did the astronaut throw a hamburger on a comet? To make it meat-eor.

30.What do dieting astronauts drink at the pub? Sateli-lite beer.

31.What do you call astronauts who aren’t vegetarian? Meteors.

32.What is used for astronaut sandwiches? Launch meat and rocket.

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Funny astronauts are always well e-quip-ped.

33.What did the astronaut say to his dentist? I’ve got a black hole.

34.What did the astronaut say when he saw a green alien? Better wait until it’s ripe.

35.What did the astronaut say to the doctor just before take-off? Time to get my booster shot.

36.What did the astronaut say to Saturn? Give me a ring.

37.What did the astronaut say to her boyfriend? You rock my world.

38.What did the astronaut say to the rocket? You’re a blast.

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If you've still got the head space, jokes of cosmic comedy proportions are yours to conquer.

39.What do astronauts do when they want to have a party? Planet.

40.How do astronauts say sorry? They apollo-gise.

41.Why is Buzz Lightyear so good at maths? Because he can count to infinity and beyond.

42.What happens when astronauts are naughty? They get grounded.

43.How does an astronaut cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.

44.What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park in it.

45.Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors.

46.How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket.

47.Why did Mickey Mouse join NASA? He wanted to find Pluto.

48.Where do astronaut train? At universe-ity.

49.Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room at the hotel on the moon? It was full.

50.Where did the astronauts go on their date? To the spacebar.

51.How do astronauts get to sleep? They drift off.

52.Why was the astronaut using the computer? To update his Space-book status.

53.What did the police astronaut say to the three-headed alien? Hello, hello, hello.

54.How do astronauts stop their spacesuits falling down? With asteroid belts.

55.Why can’t astronauts play golf in outer space? There are too many black holes.

56.How do astronaut build walls on the International Space Station? With moon beams.

57.What do you call an astronaut's moustache? Spacial Hair.

58.What award  does NASA give  the fastest astronaut to board the spacecraft? The Starship enterprise.

59.How do astronaut do their cleaning? With a vacuum.