18+ Best Cliff Clavin Quotes That All 'Cheers' Fans Will Remember

Cliff Clavin is a fictional character from the T.V. show 'Cheers' portrayed by John Ratzenberg.

'Cheers' was a very popular American sitcom that started in the year 1982 and ran for 11 seasons. The show is about a group of friends who hang out at a bar named Cheers.

Cliff is a mailman who regularly hangs out at the Cheers bar along with his friends. He is often made fun of by the other characters of the show because he lives with his mom. Cliff is also a trivia expert and a beer-lover. He is undeniably one of the funniest characters in the show. We've picked the best Cliff Clavin quotes from the iconic character in this article. If you want to read more quotes from other sitcom characters, then check out our collection of Chandler Bing quotes and [Chris Traeger quotes].

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Here are the best 'Cheers' Cliff Clavin quotes.

1. "Cliff: The Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in your this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state.

Coach: Like Colorado?

Cliff: No, Coach. Uh, more like a king or a prince. Conversely, if you've not led a good life, you come back in a more lowly condition."

-'Cheers'.

2. "Ah, pubescence. An emotional time. I don't mind saying that puberty was one, long nightmare for me."

- Cliff Clavin.

3. "Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20-30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner you can eat them."

- Cliff Clavin.

4. "It’s a little known fact that smartest animal is a pig. "

- Cliff Clavin.

5. "Norm: I'm trying to write a letter of recommendation for my secretary, Doris.

Cliff: Why? Is she quitting?

Norm: No, I gotta let her go. Business hasn't been so good since I decided to stop working."

-'Cheers'.

6. "Ah, a couple moved in next door to me and Ma. They're just not our kind of people."

- Cliff Clavin.

7. "Cliff: Hey, ah, I hope you don't mind all these questions Bill, but after all we are paying for that drink.

Bill Medley: No, no, no. I love it. As a matter of fact, this is what it's all about: being with the people, and talking about music with the fans."

-'Cheers'.

8. "Cliff: Is this me or is this getting a little weird?

Carla: You passed weird six months ago.

Norm: Now you're boldly going where no man has gone before.

Cliff: Boy, I guess it's true what they say, huh? There's a fine line between gardening and madness."

-'Cheers'.

9. "Ah, there he is. Dr. Frasier Crane. The man who won the hand of Diane Chambers."

- Cliff Clavin.

10. "It’s a little-known fact that the tan became popular in what is known as the Bronze Age."

- Cliff Clavin.

Here are some witty Cliff Clavin quotes from the T.V. show 'Cheers' including his famous Buffalo Theory quote.

11. "The human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells."

- Cliff Clavin.

12. "Cliff: I don't see what the fuss is over this whole will business. When I die, everything goes to ma.

Norm: That's great, Cliff, but what if she dies first?"

-'Cheers'.

13. "Cliff: Hey, Norm, What's up?

Norm: My blood-alcohol level."

-'Cheers'.

14. "Norm: I wish I had time for a hobby.

Cliff: Norm, you've got time to make your own coal."

-'Cheers'.

15. "Regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

- Cliff Clavin.

16. "Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first."

- Cliff Clavin.

17. "Interesting little article here. It says that, uh… the average human being only uses 17% of his brain. Boy, you realize what that means? we don’t use a full, uh… 64%."

- Cliff Clavin.

18. "You wanna see dark sides, you oughta see ma when you leave the shower curtain outside the tub."

- Cliff Clavin.

Here are the funniest quotes from other characters of the show.

19. "You know, I really think I can put together a great Thanksgiving dinner. This’ll be the second one that I’ve cooked, and believe me, the first one was not the disaster that my family said it was. Those kids had a pretty good time in that ambulance."

- Rebecca Howe.

20. "It was a magical moment. You know, it was like I was transported back in time. I wasn’t a tired old woman with six kids. I was a fresh young teenager with two kids."

- Carla Tortelli.

21. "Sam: Have you noticed that, uh... somebody in this bar is getting a little loony?

Frasier: Sam, everyone in this bar is on a connecting flight to beyond loony."

-'Cheers'.

22. "I have a degree, I'm a businesswoman, I just spent the last ten years in a major corporation my daddy is giving it to me."

- Rebecca Howe.

23. "You see, Sam, there's documented evidence that all human animals have an erotic, hair-trigger response to at least one of the five sensory stimuli. Could be anything, really. Oh, let's see: sound of surf pounding against the shore, smell of honeysuckle on a warm summer's night."

- Fraiser Crane.

24. "Sam: You handle this; you're a little smarter than me.

Diane: I'm a lot smarter than you. This napkin is a little smarter than you."

-'Cheers'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Cliff Clavin quotes then why not take a look at ['Broad City' quotes], or 'The Good Place' quotes.