90 Best Vegetable Jokes That Won't Rot

Vegetables are plant products that serve as food products.

Vegetables are consumed not just by humans, but also by other herbivorous and omnivorous animals. Vegetables are considered the best and healthiest among all food products.

Vegetables included parts of plants like stem, root, leaves, seeds, etc. When the earliest humans learned about farming, they shifted from hunting and gathering and started agriculture. Here you will find funny vegetable jokes, some jokes about eating, and organic food jokes for the fun-gis and gals out there.

If you are looking for more such jokes and puns, take a look at Vegetable Puns and Vegetarian Jokes.

These are the veg jokes that are some tomato jokes, eggplant jokes, some zucchini jokes, and more that'll also make your life healthy with laughter.

1. Which vegetable came first in the all vegetable 100 meters race? It was most definitely the runner bean!

2. What vegetables can make for excellent taxi drivers? Cab-bages are excellent cab drivers!

3. Why does a tomato always go out with a prune? It was probably because the tomato could never successfully find a date.

4. What did the father tomato tell his son when the entire family went trekking? The father said, "Ketchup, or you will fall behind".

5. Which vegetables are absolutely despised by all sailors? It most definitely is the leeks!

6. Why are mushrooms the first ones to get invited whenever a party is planned? It probably is due to the fact that mushrooms are extremely fun-gis and are the stars of any party!

7. What does a lemon say when they want a hug? They simply tell, "Hey, just give us a squeeze!"

8. Why can bananas never be alone and lonely? It is because they always go out in bunches!

9. What did the family put in their poster when they lost their cat in the market? The poster read, 'If you find this cat, lettuce know at once. '

10. Why is it very unsafe to tell your secrets to anyone while walking through a cornfield? Because there are many ears!

11. Where do chickens spend their childhood? Chickens usually spend their childhood on eggplants!

12. How did the snowman compliment his friend's new perfume? He said, "I think this is cool. It smells a lot like carrots here".

13. Which vegetable is red in color and has a very bad voice? It most definitely is a hoarse radish!

14. What is the best way to describe the way a banana dances at a party? It is probably a banana shake!

15. While seeing an airplane for the first time, what did the cucumber say? The cucumber exclaimed, "Cor, jet!"

16. What did one chef tell another when the former chef lost his root vegetable? The other chef assured him by saying the root vegetable would definitely turnip!

17. Why does a traditional baba ganoush grow bigger and stronger with every passing day? Because it has very good auber-genes in it!

18. What did one lettuce tell celery as the latter constantly checked on the former? The lettuce angrily said, "It's high time you stop stalking me".

19. Which vegetable aims to be in the army and always enrolls in the summer camp? It obviously is the Brussels scout!

20. Which vegetable spends eight hours in the gym and as a result has been able to become the strongest of all vegetables? It is a muscle sprout!

21. How did the millennial vegetable make fun of the old vegetable? He referred to the old vegetable as a 'has bean'.

22. While farming, the farmer ripped his jeans, so what did he do to fix it? He ultimately fixed it with a vegetable patch!

23. Which vegetable is the most excited to visit a zoo? It obviously is a zoo-chini!

24. In what sport does a zucchini specialize in? A zucchini is a pro in playing squash!

25. What did the lost vegetable ask a bystander on the highway road? He asked, "Is there any turnip ahead of the road?"

26. What did the mother vegetable tell her son when he was playing loud music at midnight? The mother said, "Hey, this is not a time turnip the volume. Close it and go to sleep".  

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Here are some cute food jokes and veggie jokes that include some carrots jokes, pea jokes, and green bean jokes that might just be adorable.

27. What did the vegetable do after he encountered numerous troubles at his work? He decided to turnip the page and start things anew!

28. What did the father vegetable say to his lazy son? He said, "Son, start working, or else you will become a dead beet!"

29. What did the husband vegetable tell his wife on Valentine's day? He said, "Darling, you make my heart beet fast!"

30. What did the father vegetable tell his irritating son vegetable? He told his son to beet it and leaf him alone!

31. Which vegetable is a master in mixing music and often works as a DJ in discos? A beet, as it knows how to drop sick beats!

32. What did the cabbage tell the carrot when the latter cracked a very funny joke? The cabbage said, "It was such a good joke that you almost kale-d me with laughter".

33. For which vegetable did famous singer Carly Rae Jepsen dedicate a famous song? It was for a kale that Carly sang 'Kale me maybe '.

34. What did the cabbage tell the other vegetables when they came to him and started bantering him? He said, "Leave me be, don't try to kale my vibe".

35. Which musical instrument does a cabbage like playing the most? He most definitely loves playing a u-kale-lele!

36. Which place is a famous holiday vacation spot for the majority of the vegetables? It is Kale-fornia!

37. What did the vegetable leaders claim that they had in mind when they met for the summit? They all said that they hoped for world peas!

38. What did the little vegetable wish for when he saw his favorite toy at the store? He loudly exclaimed, "Peas, let this toy be mine, peas!".

39. What did the boss vegetable say to his colleagues after he had back to back important meetings? He said, "Don't disturb me now. I need some peas and quiet now".

40. What did the mother sprout say to her son after he returned home from school? She said, "You need to Brussel up on your studies!"

41. What did the athlete vegetable tell his friend? He said, "I wish to set the world record, so I am hustlin' and brusselin' every day".

42. What did the father sprout say to the little kid who came to the church every day to pray? He said, "Brussel your heart, young one".

43. What did the boss lettuce say to his subordinates when they encountered serious troubles at work? He asked, "Lettuce please remain calm!"

44. Which vegetable will always make you scratch and turn around? It is a spin itch!

45. What could you get if you mixed a vegetable with a dog? You are bound to get a broch-collie!

46. Why did the farmer start investing in stocks of vegetables and meat? Because he wished to be a bouillionaire very soon!

47. Why was the man arrested by the police when he played with the vegetables? He was arrested for disturbing the peas!

48. Which vegetable is an absolute favorite of any hydraulic press? It most definitely is squash!

50. Which notorious vegetable is known to choke viewers in an art gallery? It is an artichoke!

51. Who is the only human known to speak with vegetables? Only Jack and the beans-talk!

52. Which vegetable has a band named after it? It was the black-eyed peas!

Here we have some jokes about broccoli, sweet potato jokes, some salad jokes, and salad dressing jokes that might be corny but will definitely make you laugh.

53. Which vegetable is an expert in martial arts and is also known to train kung fu to others? It was Broccol-Lee!

54. Why are sweet potatoes seen quarreling with one another all day long? It is probably due to the fact that they can never see one another eye to eye!

55. What was the slogan of the protest where the vegetables were asking for a pay rise? The slogan read, 'Lettuce all have a rise in celery!'

56. Why do onions love living under the ground and not in houses? Because all onions have lairs!

57. Which musician vegetable is known for dropping a large number of cool beats? It most definitely is a Rapscallion!

58. What did the mother vegetable say after she laid the food on the table? She said, "Lettuce be thankful for the food".

59. What did the boss vegetable tell his colleagues before they undertook a huge project? He said, "Before we do anything, we must make the foundation rock salad!"

60. What did one lettuce say to another after they had a huge fight? The former said, "I hope that we will still be romaine-ing friends".

61. How did the husband radish compliment his wife when they went out for dinner? He said, "You are looking radish-ingly beautiful today".

62. Which vegetable acted as a spy and disclosed everything on the internet? It was the wiki-leeks!

63. Why was the farmer worried about his vegetables during the rainy season? This was because the roof of his storage room was leek-ing!

64. What did the adamant and rude vegetable say to his friend about the problem at the office? He said, "It doesn't matter, I don't carrot at all".

65. What mantra did the positive vegetable follow? He always follows, 'Keep calm and carrot on, no matter what happens'.

66. Which song of the band 'Kansas' is an absolute favorite among all the vegetables? It is 'Carrot On, My Wayward Son'.

67. How does one vegetable greet another when they meet? They greet each other by saying, "How have you bean, my dear friend?".

68. How did the vegetables compliment the good farmer who always took care of them? The vegetables were all of the opinion that the farmer was a very good human bean!

69. What did the parents of the vegetables say when the two kid vegetables quarreled amongst themselves? They said, "Just squash whatever beef you have between yourselves".

70. What is the famous dialogue of the terminator vegetable? He says, 'I will be bok'!

71. What do all the vegetables refer to the foolish vegetable as? They all refer to him as the laughing stalk!

72. Which gadgets do vegetables use to communicate with one another? They use a celery-phone to speak with one another.

73. What did the father vegetable say to his son when the little vegetable stood first in the examination? The father said, "It's time to celery-brate your achievement".

74. What did the vegetable say to his friend when he was looking for a new place to stay? He said, "Even small places will do as I don't need mushroom".

75. Which vegetable does Michelle Obama love the most? She really loves Barack-oli!

76. What did the vegetable say when he was asked to change his attitude? He simply said with a straight face, "I yam what I yam. There's no change to that".

77. Which social media platform do vegetables use for uploading their favorite pictures? Vegetables are known to use Instayam for uploading pictures!

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Lastly, this is the list of the knock-knock funny vegetable jokes that are some broccoli jokes, a pea joke, and lettuce jokes with the best lettuce humor.

78. Knock! Knock!

Who is out there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, you'll find out.

79. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Beets!

Beets who?

Beets me.

80. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Duncan!

Duncan who?

Duncan your vegetables before they go bad.

81. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Potatoes.

Potatoes who?

Potatoes don't have last names, silly!

82. Knock, knock

Who is there?

Bean

Bean who?

Bean a while since we met.

83. Knock! Knock!

Who is There?

Kale!

Kale who?

Do you have time to kale?

84. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Turnip.

Turnip who?

Turnip the volume, that's my favorite song.

85. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Lettuce

Lettuce who?

Lettuce go before they eat us.

86. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Carrot!

Carrot who?

Do you carrot all?

87. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Celery!

Celery who?

If you don't give me my celery, I quit.

88. Knock! Knock!

Who is There?

Broccoli

Broccoli who?

Broccoli has no last name.

89. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Noah

Noah who?

Noah place to get good vegetables?

90. Knock! Knock!

Who is there?

Peas.

Peas who?

Peas to meet you.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Vegetable Jokes then why not take a look at Vegan Jokes, or Potato Jokes.