david sedaris

“ Doubt was spreading through the room like the cold germs seen in one of those slow-motion close-ups of a sneeze. ”

“ If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt? ”

“ Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. ”

“ Come critique time, most students behaved as if the assignment had been to confine the stories in a dark, enclosed area and test their reaction to sensory deprivation. ”

“ I am a person who feels guilty for crimes I have not committed, or have not committed in years. ”

“ Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it. ”

“ Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about. ”

“ My ideas would be like demons rushing from a hellish cave, and my fellow intellectuals, startled by the truth and enormity of my observations, would try to bottle them up before they spread! ”

“ I had no job at the time and was living off the cruel joke I referred to as my savings. ”

“ You need to be in the world and you need to be engaged with the world. ”