FOR ALL AGES
If you didn't think flowers were that funny, think again, as we have dug around (get it?) to find the most fabulous flower jokes and puns about flowers around.
Did you know that broccoli is actually a flower? Don't try buying a bunch of broccoli for your mum or aunt's next birthday though! She might not get the joke.
And not all flowers have a sweet smell. One of the smelliest plants is also one of the rarest and largest. This joke flower is called the titan arum. It's also called the corpse flower because it has the delightful trick of smelling like a rotting dead body. apparently this attracts flies, which pollinate the plant (which helps it to reproduce).
You can have some fun with flowers in the garden but ALWAYS check with an adult first. Snapdragon flowers (Antirrhinum) can look like little mouths. Try squeezing the sides of a flower - you will see its 'mouth' open. Let it go and its 'mouth' will close! The Lunaria's purple flowers eventually turn into silvery, papery round seedpods. They can be used as play money or you could even try making a necklace out of them,
Here's a bunch of our favourite flower jokes which we hope will have rose to the occasion and got your friends and best buds giggling.
Stand-up comedians use one-liners a lot to warm up their audience. See if you can get your audience giggling with these flower related jokes.
1) I planned to organise all my dried flowers, but realised I had some more pressing problems to sort out.
2) I was asked to choose my favourite plant but there were four that I really liked in the room. That really placed me in an orchid situation.
3) I attempted to teach my flowers maths but they kept ending up with square roots
See if you can use a rose pun or flower pun when you try writing your own flower jokes. Can you make up some more flower puns?
4) All dressed up and nowhere to grow
5) Ants in your plants
6) Have you done your good seed for the day?
7) Petal to the metal
The best quick jokes to get your best bud laughing.
8) What do you get if you cross a bicycle and a rose? Bicycle petals!
9) What do you get if you plant kisses? Tulips!
10) What do you get if you cross monkeys with flowers? Chimp-pansies!
11) What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a carnation? A collie-flower!
12) What do you get if you cross a bouquet of flowers with a burglar? Robbery with violets!
Who doesn't love a good knock-knock joke? These are bloomin' funny!
13) Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Buttercup.
14) Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy me rolling, they hatin'!
You'll find some of the oldest jokes in this category - but they will still make you laugh! Try them out on your friends and family.
15) What do you say to an old flower? Hello, bloomer!
16) What do you say if you want a flower to drive faster? Floret!
17) How can you tell if flowers are capable of kissing? They have tulips.
18) Have you heard about the one flower that went out on a date with another flower? It’s a budding romance!
19) What does a flower say if it offers you a job? Take it or leaf it!
20) What do you call a grandad flower? Poppy!
21) How can you impress a baker if you take his daughter on a date? Bring her a bunch of flours!
22) What are golfers' favourite flowers? Fore-get-me-nots!
23) What did the big flower say to the small flower? You’re growing up, bud!
24) What do cartographers give their girlfriends on Valentine's Day? Compass roses!
25) What do you call a rose that runs on electricity? A power plant!
26) What did the bee say to the daisy? Hello honey!
27) What are the frog's favourite flowers? Croak-us!
28) What sort of flower grows on your face? Tulips!
29) What has no fingers, but lots of rings? A tree!
30) What is the wildest flower in the garden? A tiger lily!
31) What kind of garden does a baker plant? A flour garden!
32) Which lion never roars? A dandelion!
33) Where do roses go to sleep at night? In a flowerbed!
34) Which is the most talkative flower? Tulips, because they have two lips!
35) Why are A’s like flowers? Because the bee’s come after them!
36) Why are flowers lazy? Because they’re always in a bed.
37) Why do so many leprechauns work as florists? Because they have green thumbs!
38) What kind of flower should you not give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!
39) Why did the gardener plant out some light bulbs? Because he wanted to grow a power plant!
40) Why do so many people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Because real rocks are too heavy!
45) Why is it not possible to iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn't press your luck!
46) What do you call a girl who has a frog in her hair? Lily!
47) What did the flower say to the flower planted next to him? Move over bud!
48) What is spring's favourite kind of pickles? Daffo-dills!
49) What do you call Dracula when he has hayfever? The pollen count.
50) What do you call a flower that dies then comes back to life? Reincarnation!
51) What’ are a forgetful sailor’s favourite flowers? Forget-me-knots.
52) Did you know there’s a country where everyone has the same colour vehicle? It’s a red car nation.
53) If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
54) What did the rock say to the flower? Nothing, rocks can’t talk!
55) What did the angry dad say to the flower? You're grounded!
56) What’s a flower’s favourite fizzy drink? Root Beer!
57) What kind of bean will never grow in a garden? A jelly bean!
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