homer simpson

“ Bart, with 10,000 dollars we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things, like... love! ”

“ Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg. ”

“ If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair. ”

“ Marge, it takes two to lie - one to lie, and one to listen. ”

“ People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night. ”

“ Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. ”

“ Why would women want to go to a gym if there were no men there watching them and judging them? ”

“ Marge, I agree with you in theory. In theory communism works . . . in theory. ”

“ Overdue book? This is the biggest frame-up since OJ! Wait a minute. Blood in the Bronco. The cuts on his hands. Those Jay Leno monologues. Oh my god, he did it! ”

“ Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake. ”