james thurber

“ Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything. ”

“ The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. ”

“ I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. ”

“ You can fool too many people, too much of the time. ”

“ Quick, name some towns in New Jersey. ”

“ Columbus is a town in which almost anything is likely to happen, and in which almost everything has. ”

“ I myself have known some profoundly thoughtful dogs. ”

“ I hate women because they always remember where things are. ”

“ There are two kinds of light - the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. ”

“ Surely no other American institution is so bound around and tightened up by rules, strictures, adages, and superstitions as the Broadway theatre. ”