Johnny Carson Quotes
Quotes
Actors“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ People will pay more to be entertained than to be educated. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Only lie about the future. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Just be yourself, it's the only way it can work. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Find me any performer who is not egocentric. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover spam. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Desire! That's the one secret of every man's career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year - and then discover once a year is way too often. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. ”
Johnny CarsonQuotes
Actors“ Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday. ”
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