lewis grizzard

“ Chilli dawgs always bark at night. ”

“ I was raised to think women had babies, stayed at home, and men worked. By the time I got ready to do it, I thought I had all the answers. Only somebody had changed the questions. ”

“ I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?' ”

“ Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. ”

“ I am convinced ginger ale can heal the sick and raise the dead. ”

“ Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn. ”

“ There is no such thing as being too Southern. ”

“ I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. ”

“ Real estate agents are God's plague on mankind when locusts are out of season. ”

“ The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. ”