linda belcher

“ When I die, I want you to cremate me and throw me in Tom Selleck's face. ”

“ People are always more fun when theyre drunk! ”

“ Rich people run funny. Must be all the money in their pockets. Or their big, rich, golden wieners. Eh, its probably their wieners. ”

“ Ive only had half of four bottles of wine. ”

“ Both. Your father is a very moist sleeper. ”

“ I was going to punch you, but Im holding wine. ”

“ Bob, Gene, look at yourselves; youre father and son! Youre supposed to love each other, not kill each other; this isnt the Bible! ”

“ We all need to think about the end. ”

“ Tammy can go sit in syrup. Let the bees get her. ”

“ Two people, together forever. Security in life! And someone to love ya! Instead of being all alone, such a lonely existence. Id kill myself! ”