40+ Philosophy Jokes That We Kant Stop Laughing At

Philosophy is a matter of serious discussion and thought.

But all serious discussions need comic relief and some respite. There should, honestly, be a line drawn between you and the deep abyss of thoughts that will have you locked up in your own mind delving into the depths of unending philosophical ideologies that don't come with boundaries.

While we love a good philosophical theory about even some general things that most people cannot fathom, the only thing that keeps modern philosophers and philosophy students from insanity is philosophical jokes, one-liners, and puns that they can relate to! Philosophical jokes, however, cannot be deciphered by people who do not understand philosophical ideologies or theories. You need to have the basic knowledge to laugh at a philosophical joke or a pun after finding it relevant. Philosophical jokes will make you drown with laughter because they are that deep and require that depth of knowledge about the subject of philosophy.

They are also great for making it easier and more fun for students to study this subject. It is imperative to have fun while studying, no matter how hard or serious a subject is. After all, laughter helps people retain knowledge about something and hence improves grades or even the quality of thought. Making philosophical puns also require higher than above average intelligence because not only do you need to have a good grasp over the language, its use, vocabulary, and a mean sense of humor but also good knowledge of philosophical aspects that will make a joke relevant as well. Philosophical jokes can be shared by both students and adults alike. Teachers can crack a philosophical joke in the middle of a teaching session in class and have students more engaged with the subject, thereby helping them retain lessons even more effectively.

Jokes about philosophy are usually shared amongst student groups or nerd groups who are philosophy enthusiasts. If you are one of the philosophy enthusiasts looking for some philosophy jokes to laugh at or share with your friends and teachers, here is a list of the best philosophical jokes curated just for you. We have included classical philosophy jokes, smart philosophy jokes, and one-liner philosophy jokes, all of them combining to form an amazing list of the best philosophy jokes of all time.

If you like more puns, you can look into our other articles: Shakespeare puns and History puns.
 

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Here is a list of some of the best philosophical one-liners and philosophy jokes that will not make you think twice before laughing out loud. These are some good philosophy jokes that can be converted into philosophy major jokes or short philosophy jokes for the smart philosophy majors.

1. What do you end up with if you cross a rhetorical question with a joke? Something that has no punchline.

2. How does an art student differ from a philosophy student ordering a burger? A philosophy student asks you why they would like potato fries with that.

3. What are physics jokes in a philosophy class called? Blasphemy!.

4. What do you get when you mix philosophy with maths? A topic named '√2 Success.'

5. What is a wolf that loved studying philosophy called? A self-aware wolf.

6. How can you make a philosophy student get off your porch? Just pay them for the pizza.

7. How is math different from philosophy? To solve math, you will need a pencil, paper, and eraser. For philosophy, you will only need a pencil and paper.

8. What do philosophy students say about the Mariana Trench? It is deep.

9. What is a monk who has a philosophy degree called? A deep friar.

10. What did the student say when he was asked if his philosophy degree was useful? He replied, "I don't know. Was it?"

11. What do dolphins think when they graduate from college with philosophy honors? What's their porpoise now?

12. What do people do when they go to a philosophy and comedy convention? Laugh more than they think.

13. What did the student learn about when he did not study for the Hindu Philosophy test he failed? He learned about karma.

14. What type of car do most philosophy majors drive? An uber.

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You think, therefore, you laugh at a philosophy joke. Hence, this list of funny, philosophical jokes, which includes "I think therefore I am jokes," solipsism jokes as well, will have you barking mad with laughter.

15. Why do philosophers never sit down at work? Because they stand to reason.

16. Why did the student drop out of the course in 19th-century socialist thought? Because of poor Marx.

17. What do Nihilists have to say about Nihilism? If it is not for Nihilism, they would have nothing to believe in.

18. What does a philosopher answer when his friend asks if his new baby is a boy or a girl? He says, "Yes."

19. What do local philosophy clubs have? Free why-fi.

20. How do philosophy students feel when they fail an exam on empiricism? Hume-iliated.

21. What did the philosopher say to his sister when she started crying about the fewer job roles available for candidates with a philosophy degree? You are having an existential cry, sis.

22. How are Philosophy and looking at a rock's picture different? One is called ideology, and the other is called eyed-geology.

23. What is the philosophy of a skunk? I stink, therefore I am.

24. What is a sweet potato's philosophy? "I think, therefore I yam."

25. What did the librarian say when a man asked him if she has a book about Schrodinger's Cat and Pavlov's dogs? It rings a bell, but I'm not really sure if it is there or not.

26. Why can pacifists not crack good jokes? They don't like punchlines.

27. What do Nihilists say about Nihilism sometimes? "Nihilism is nothing to me."

28. Why do Kleptomaniacs not get sarcastic philosophical jokes about them? They take things literally.

29. What would you end up with when you cross a philosopher with a godfather? An offer you are unable to understand.

30. What did the solipsist say when he ended his relationship? It is not you; it's only me.

31. What did the man say to the solipsist after repeatedly pummeling him? "Why are you hitting yourself?"

32. How many surrealists would it require to screw a lightbulb? Fish.

33. What do solipsists say on their first date? "Do you think it's solipsistic here, or is it just me?"

Here is a list of funny jokes about philosophers, including a Descartes joke, Socrates jokes, Kant puns, Plato jokes, Aristotle jokes, Nietzsche jokes, and jokes about Jean-Paul Sartre.

34.Why do Marxists hate drinking Earl Grey tea? Because proper tea is theft.

35.What did the waitress ask Jean-Paul Sartre when he asked for a cup of coffee with no cream? "We are out of cream. Would you like it with no milk?"

36. What did Nietzsche complain about after visiting Egypt? It was way too Nile-istic.

37. What would Aristotle say about a wife who is a good dancer? She is a prime mover.

38. How does Voltaire like to eat his apples? When they are candied.

39. What did Nietzsche work as in his day job? Post-man.

40. What would René Descartes reply if a bartender asks him if he would like a drink? "I think not!" and then disappear.

41. What would a local pub that lacks class be called? A Marxist utopia.

42. How did Kant finish writing 'The Critique of Pure Reason'? He just made the time.

43. What would Plato say to impress his wife? "You must be from the high heavens because you have a perfect form."

44. How are a classical show and a philosophy program different? One is about Schopenhauer, and the other is about Chopin hour.

45. Why does nobody talk about philosophy anymore? It is a Nietzsche subject.

46. Why can you never teach philosophy to a stallion? You cannot bring Descartes before the horse.

47. Why is it hard to joke about Philosophy? But you just Kant.

48. Why is it hard to understand Chinese philosophy? It Confucius people.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Philosophy jokes, then why not take a look at Reading puns or Writing puns.