ron white

“ You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh. ”

“ I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability. ”

“ I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously. ”

“ The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really. ”

“ I just try to keep it fresh without sacrificing funny. ”

“ The next time you have a thought... let it go. ”

“ The hardest that Ive laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off. ”

“ You cant fix stupid. ”

“ I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game. ”

“ As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. ”