roseanne roseannadanna

“ First of all, I gotta say its an extreme pleasure, a thrill, a joy and a real snappy surprise. ”

“ I filled out applications, I went for interviews and they all told me the same thing. You're overqualified, you're underqualified, dont call us, well call you, women's place is in a home, have a nice day, drop dead, goodbye. ”

“ And I, Roseanne Roseannadanna, learned if you want to stay fit in the Hamptons, you gotta eat a lot of roughage. ”

“ Hey! Doctor! Flick that sweat ball off your nose! What are ya tryin to do? Make me sick?! ”

“ Not that I don't got a great body. ... But why should I waste it on a bunch of fat ladies in a health club? ”

“ Like some people got them bulgy, bulgy thighs, the ones that get chafed just 'cause they're always scraping together. ”

“ Well, Jane. It just goes to show ya! Its always somethin! Either you're depressed at Christmas or you got toilet paper hangin' from your shoe! ”

“ For a class of 79, for college graduates, you sure ask a lot of dumb questions. ”

“ And there's other people there that got these funny belly buttons. Like, some go in and some go out or it's like a hole or it curls around or its like a little knob on it, like a door. ”

“ Well, one time, when he came out, just between you and me, Roseanne Roseannadanna, I noticed that he had a little tiny wet spot on his white pants right below his zipper. ”