stanley hudson

“ I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day. ”

“ Florida Stanley smiles, Florida Stanley is happy to go to work, Florida Stanley is who you want on your Florida team. ”

“ 364 days... 'til the next Pretzel Day. ”

“ Boy have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it. ”

“ Yes, I have a dream, and its not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And theres a button that I can press, and launch that lighthouse into space. ”

“ I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. ”

“ I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining. ”

“ I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself. Game on. ”

“ If I cant find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, Im going to die. ”

“ You are a professional idiot. ”